Human Perceptions and Horse Problems

What Are You Basing Your Horse-Related Perceptions On?

Perspective & Approach

Horse-Related Perceptions - Gaining Perspective

By Samantha Harvey, Founder — Alternative Horsemanship™ the Remote Horse Coach

I was watching a discussion between an astrophysicist and a psychologist... The topic was related to people's perception. I'll share the example:

When you're driving down the road, if you see someone driving much faster than you, what do you think of their behavior? If you see someone driving much slower, how do you mentally react?

So... the "argument" was that whatever speed you happen to be driving, you consider this the "correct" speed, and disagree with, judge, or critique the faster or slower drivers.

If You're the Only One With a Problem...

They went on to present that if you are the only one having a problem, and everyone surrounding you isn't, then maybe what you perceive as a problem isn't everyone else — it's you.

This belief system is so commonly and deeply ingrained in many societies, and 100% why I specifically stepped away from "the mainstream" world of horses.

You could apply the "logic" to any topic — religion, politics, etc. — and it is just as much of a trigger in terms of horses and training.

The Rage Bait Problem

On any social media platform, finding the rage bait horse-related posts, the emotionally triggering ones, the fixated one-size-fits-all system, is easy. The algorithms reward posters for engaging the public — even in a negative, aggressive, degrading manner — especially in the case of unasked-for opinions.

I know in recent times I may sound like a broken record, but I cannot emphasize enough how much one's perceptions 110% influence their mental "playback" — or interpretation — of an experience, their emotional response, and the physical behavior that follows based on their thoughts and emotions.

Every Witness Tells a Different Story

Take a witness account — whether a crime or an accident — police will question bystanders and get drastically varying stories in each person's first-hand account of "what happened." To the individual, their perception is based on many factors, including what past experiences have taught them. This can affect their ability to separate factual events from their perception of what happened. The same goes for when people interact with horses.

So, the uncomfortable question of the day: What are you basing your horse-related perceptions on?

This isn't meant to trigger self-doubt or analysis paralysis, but instead to revisit why you believe what you believe about the horse, the interactions, and how you communicate.

Where Your Beliefs Actually Came From

Consider your mindset when you were in your early 20s, then your 30s, then perhaps later in life. You are still "you" — but what influenced your ideals, motivation, behavior, and emotions to evolve or change? Lived experience. Social influences. Relationships... and so many other aspects of life.

Past horse-related experiences will cause you to unintentionally filter your perception and understanding of what is happening. If your initial interactions with horses were with a hard-to-catch or resistant horse, you probably unintentionally established a mental pattern of anticipation, tension during interactions, and increasing lack of confidence — all of which you'd bring to the next horse you interact with.

If your first instruction was from someone aggressive and dominant in how they taught, berating you for asking questions, how would that affect your learning as the student? Or your mindset, perspective, and confidence, even when learning from a different instructor later on?

Why Questioning Makes People Uncomfortable

Unfortunately, I have found that "questioning" things can make people uncomfortable, especially in the horse world. Which is more reflective of human dominance mindsets than it has anything to do with the horses.

The problem is, the deeply ingrained "follow the program," "get with the program," or "don't question the authority" mentality can lead to crippling learning experiences for the horse, who resorts to dramatic and dangerous behavior, while the human student frequently becomes overwhelmed by the equine's responses while receiving critique or berating from the instructor or coach.

Society has constantly shined a light on singling out the "outcast" — those who don't conform or comply with the "norms." If we look back at history, what positive changes would never have occurred if we considered those who voiced "new" or different ideas, perspectives, and opinions as fundamentally wrong solely because, at the time they were first voiced, they weren't accepted by most of society? Change only occurs when "the way we've always done it" is questioned.

I have found this to be incredibly true in the horse world. I encourage you, every so often, to take a few minutes and explore whether the belief system your horse perceptions are based on is still relevant to your current state of being.

— Samantha Harvey, Alternative Horsemanship™
The Remote Horse Coach

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Labels: horse perception, horse learning help, rider mindset, alternative horsemanship horse training tips

Horse Learning Challenges- Unwanted Influences

Unhelpful Horse Opinions

Silencing the Undesired Input

By Samantha Harvey founder
Alternative Horsemanship™ The Remote Horse Coach

I was reading a non-horse related article geared towards coaches the other day, and it made me think back to many off-the -cusp remarks I have heard (and experienced first hand) over about "toughing it out" with "hard, difficult, belittling" coaches.

For people of certain eras, decades, and generations, there was a deeply ingrained mindset, to prove you had "what it takes" to be successful at something, you had to put up with (without complaint) whatever disrespectful, degrading comments, commentary, and criticism the holier-than-though coaches threw at you. While I won't dive into the human psychology of the far too many toxic coach/student relationships, or why people pay others to mentally and verbally abuse them (far too prevalent in the horse world), I did want to touch on the "what it takes" mindset.

Learning horse skills to replace the chaos

Not to burst anyone's bubble- but here's what I have found in the idealistic versus reality of the everyday horse lover:

Most equine enthusiasts are never going to be high level competitors.

If they do compete, it is usually for working towards a goal and the comradery, not trying to "move up" in the horse world to become a professional.

Most of the people who are awed and inspired by the big, dramatic, romanticized liberty acts, are never going to do such things with their horse. The same goes for the infamous scenes of galloping down the beach in some remote location with no bridle.

Instead, many horse lovers are pleased when their horse is easy to catch, and doesn't scare or overwhelm them during everyday scenarios.

Whether they enjoy interactions from the ground or in the saddle, the real fulfillment stems from spending calm, quality time with their horse.

Outside influences, unasked for comments, imposed judgment, and ill-spited critics- whether from friends, boarders, coaches, family, etc., can negatively influence one's horse time resulting from "just" a discouraging session to the outright long-term avoidance of horse interactions all together (in extreme cases) for fear of what others will say or do...

The lack of understanding how the horse communicates, thinks, and functions is the number one contributor to self-doubt and mis/lack/late aids to help and work with the equine. This leaves the human mentally distracted, emotionally triggered, and the horse without support. The result is a slow (or fast) building of distrust, anticipation, and defensiveness in both the human and horse.

As these cracks in communication continue to widen, the horse's increasingly resistant, avoidant, or unwanted behaviors begin to increase. This tends to trigger a vicious cycle of uncomfortable interactions magnified with the ongoing unhelpful input of others...

To help you focus on "what" may be missing in the relationship with your horse, below are six questions to ask yourself and honestly answer.

Do you:

• Create a safe space for the horse to learn in?
• Address his mental, spatial, and physical triggers?
• Reawaken or engage his curiosity when learning?
• Help him learn the skills to think through scenarios?
• Offer him time to search and try (without fear being a motivator)?
• Give him "new" human interactions that build his trust rather than tolerance?

Recognize that if you don't have clear answers to the previous questions, imagine what your horse is experiencing. Awareness in your potential lack of clarity is good information- it can give you a direction as to where to start to develop the skills to set the horse up for success and achieve those "uneventful" but fulfilling horse experiences while strengthening your horse's trust.

The Pitfalls of Horse Learning

Horse Learning Problems

Removing the Rose Colored Glasses

By Samantha Harvey founder
Alternative Horsemanship™ The Remote Horse Coach

My students who are most “successful” in their horse learning are not always the ones to reach “the end results” fastest. Instead, they are the individuals who are more interested and curious in learning how to develop the skills to communicate and work with the horse, rather than resorting to seeking quick fixes, or creating stories to explain away resistance or unwanted equine behaviors.