Flooding, Learned Helplessness, and Trauma Bonds
Thoughts on "flooding," learned helplessness, and creating a trauma bond seen in some human-horse relationships.
Everywhere you "go" there you are. I have found many of the human projected stories and explanations about horses, frequently have little to do with what the horse is experiencing and more to do with the person's mindset, emotional state, and degree of awareness of both them and their behavior.
People become involved with horses for a variety of reasons- but if you ask most, there is usually the common factor of seeking emotional fulfillment, in whatever form they perceive. This behavior isn't unique to when working with horses, as in most cases, when people have a choice to participate in something, it tends to be underlined with, "what do I get out of this?" Again, this is reflective of a societal mindset, versus an awareness or seeing the value in acknowledging what another sentient being is experiencing.
So how does all the above tie into original topic of "flooding," horse training practices or interactions, and trauma bonding?
When someone has an agenda, whether intentional or not, the mindset will assign categories in terms of how the experience affected and was perceived by the human, such as to "accomplish or fail," and if something was "good or bad," etc. These trigger human emotions such as, "I failed," when something does not occur in the horse's response. This can create a domino effect as to the human projecting the horse's behavior on how it affected them personally, rather than "seeing" the animal's behavior as feedback- or information.
This narrowed perspective can limit one in recognizing the missing holes, lack of education, or defensive triggers in the equine. The emotional, "I want my horse to comply," can lead to ignoring the horse's communication, and the person having laser "focus"/fixation on- what many have been taught- repetitive practicing presented in the same manner, or reinforcing a training scenario, with the emotional hopes that the horse will eventually comply…
The problem is the emotional state of the human creates a disconnect in awareness or curiosity as to what the horse is experiencing. When his feedback is ignored, he is being taught to escalate his responses. The human's agenda leads to continuous repetition of triggering experiences and the conflict increases.
Depending on the horse's natural personality, confidence, and previous experiences, he will either "get bigger" by perhaps resorting to dangerous, avoidant, or fleeing behavior, or he will "shut down" and quit responding- often seen in the dysfunctional state of "no response"- learned helplessness- or becomes mentally removed- often described as the "bomb proof horse."
If he offers scary or dramatic responses, dependent on a person's emotional state, the horse's behavior reinforces the human's emotional interpretation- which compounds the irrelevance of their physical behaviors and delays real-time, relevant communication.
I witness three typical responses: The first, is the person sees themselves as the "victim," in a "why won't my horse listen to me?" The second, as many do when overwhelmed, leads to a decision delay or paralysis in their response and communication toward the horse, leaving a bigger gap in helping the animal. The third, often taught in mainstream training, is reflective of an anger trigger, with stronger more aggressive aids used, as it reflects the person's lack of "control" and emotionally feeling like they have "failed."
What many are missing, is that ironically the "horse experience" is not about what the human "gets" out of it. If instead, there was a focus or priority on helping educate the horse in an adaptable, supportive manner, with the focus on building his skills to mentally and physically navigate without fear what is asked of him, the emotional outcome for the human would be far more fulfilling.
So if you find yourself in a reactive, chaotic, frustrated, angered, or fearful emotional state- most likely the "triggering" thing in the horse's behavior is a symptom(s). It is the "final" result or response, of an accumulation of ignored and unaddressed holes in his understanding.
The kindest thing you can do, is to help address him in a manner that is relevant to his current state. That means preconceived agendas, assumptions, and hopefulness have no value to the horse. Instead, recognizing the subtleties in his focus, behavior, breathing, willingness to participate, while interrupting patterns, and addressing defensiveness, creates opportunities for you to break things down into segments to educate him, rather than overwhelming with rushing toward the final outcome.
My last thought, without opening the entire can of worms… is mentioning the rescue/abandoned/abused, etc. horse. I've worked with far more than I care to count, often as the "last stop." If I had to be honest, I find that dwelling on the horse's horrible past limits one's effectiveness to help the horse learn how to function without fear. Instead, while the human dwells in sadness, it leaves the horse floundering, lost, without support or direction…
The pendulum swings drastically in how human emotional triggers and training approaches vary when helping traumatized horses with the arguments of "how to handle" ones with difficult and human-induced violent pasts.
For me, in the re-education, the most challenging aspect is to re-educate the human to not dwell in the "story." Yes, it was horrific. But if during every future interaction there is an emotional filter based on the past, one is not present to see, meet, adapt, and help the horse standing before them. Often times, I hear how people can "relate" to what the horse has been through… without imposing my personal judgement, I try to have people redirect their focus to "what does the horse need to function in a healthy manner" in the human created world, rather than re-iteration of what one does not want the "poor horse" to experience.
Case and point, a few weeks ago, I'd posted a 30+ second video of a horse who was very defensive about my hand touching her face. I literally typed words on the video pointing out the physical signs of defensive behavior… Guess what the comments focused on? If you should or should not touch a horse's face. Many missed the point of the video- a chance to notice or "read" the horse's response (I share as many humans are desensitized to believing the equine,) and instead commenters focused on the human agenda of whether touching the face was right or wrong- good or bad- in emotionally charged statements… No one considered, "what would the horse need to learn/experience to be okay with their face touched, based on the feedback she was reflecting?"
The Remote Horse Coach
Interested in improving the partnership?
Join me for an Intro Consult — an opportunity to discuss where you are with your horse, ask questions, and pinpoint what aspects of your equine partnership need refining to create positive, long-term change.
Book an Intro Consult Explore the Video Catalog
.jpeg)
